I tried to file a complaint with the police department today. They refused to take my complaint. My complaint was that a door-to-door scam not only tried to financially scam me, but also seemed to be casing my property (fortunately, I am poor as a church mouse, and there’s basically nothing to see).
So I told the cop this, and she told me that they “don’t really do that”.
When I lived in Maplewood, and my crazy alcoholic neighbor threatened Warren’s life, the Maplewood cops came in person to talk to us and write a report. I get the feeling the Ditchville cops wouldn’t have done the same.
Anyway, the guys are trying to sell magazines with fraudulent materials, and here’s their physical description:
Male #1: early to mid 20’s, white, 6′1″-6′3″, shaggy brown hair, thin wiry build. wearing t-shirt, cargo shorts, hemp necklace with large glass bead, PDGA (disc golf association) sticker inside his wallet, baseball cap. angular face (inverted triangle shaped face), prominent nose. introduced himself as “Jacob”.
Male #2: early to mid 20’s, white, 5′10″-5′11″, dirty blond hair, short hair cut, oval face shape, yellow (tobacco-stained?) teeth, thin-to-medium athletic build. wearing white and blue striped polo shirt. Introduced himself as “Austin”.
If they come to your neighborhood, call 911 while they’re still there, otherwise the Ditchville cops will tell you to get lost.
Buy a gun, get a dog, and don’t bother calling in suspicious activity. It’s the Ditchville way.
